So….I finished!!!

Late Saturday night I finished the first draft of a new novel.  Yes, it’s YA.  And yes, it’s fantasy (with a lot of romance).  I’m super excited for this one.  I’ve written a draft of a query letter that’s gotten great feedback on various writing forums.  I’ve had a few early readers who have really loved it.  And I even posted the first 250 words at on online writers conference and an agent bothered to comment, telling me it was a good start.

And I personally, LOVE it!  Even though I’m just starting the revision process and I KNOW there are some needed changes.

Anyway, I thought I’d share my first 250 and get any feedback from all of you….

BLIND MAGIC

The siege had ended.  Lord Kern, the dark mage, was dead.

Maren pushed her forehead against the warm glass, straining for a better view of the commotion below.  A cheer went up from the crowd and Maren searched for any sign of the man making his way to the castle.  The man who’d saved the city — and the kingdom.

All she could see was a mass of bodies, crowding the way leading up from the city gates to the castle.

It wasn’t uncommon to see people in the streets.  They’d come every day for the past two and a half years, standing in subdued silence as they waited for the daily rations that grew more and more meager as the weeks went by.  But today the crowd wasn’t silent.  Today was different.

Maren raised her eyes.  The tent cities beyond the wall, once teeming with the soldiers draining the city of life, were now abandoned, destroyed, thin plumes of smoke the only movement.  Against that backdrop, the charred, barren fields look even more desolate.

“Anything?”

Maren jumped back from the window and felt the color rise to her cheeks.

“It’s all right, Maren,” Queen Adare said, trying to get her own view of the street below.  “We’re all curious.  And you have more right than the rest of us.  You knew him better than anyone.”

The dull, familiar ache in her chest forced Maren to hesitate until she was sure she could speak without her voice breaking.  Even then, she couldn’t meet the queen’s eyes.  “I’m not sure I knew him at all.”